Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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