im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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