Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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