If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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