when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Panties = found
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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