Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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