Your tits are I can't wait for
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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