A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize