I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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