I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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