I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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