i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
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one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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