She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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