if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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