Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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