The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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