She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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