My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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