he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize