I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize