im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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