So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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