There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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