I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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