Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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