Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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