I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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