i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
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I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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