she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize