so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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