I feel like abortions should bother me more
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize