My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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