If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Randomize