I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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