What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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