Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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