When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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