Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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