What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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