We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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