You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize