i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
vagina is talking i cant
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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