Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize