Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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