Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We need to get me chipped asap
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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