Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
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I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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