tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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