I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
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My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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