im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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