In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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